Photoshop opportunity
Or maybe somebody already did? Why don't you create an online survey about it.

Look what these stupid Koreans are doing. The Raelian Movement mentioned in the caption, has "over 55,000 members in 84 countries working towards the first embassy to welcome people from space.... sweeping the world with the most politically incorrect and fearlessly individualistic philosophy of non conformism." Which doesn't necessarily explain how or why NASA lost contact with a comet-chasing craft yesterday. Don't ask me, I gotta go get my aluminum foil hat on. Can't sleep, clown'll eat me. This'll be a busy night for the geeks over at NUFORC.

Drivers in Antwerp can now take their cars with them on the Ferris wheel. For just $50, probably. Yo'd get a bigger high if you spent your money on a 'socially irresponsible' mutual fund.

Check out Stone Cold Steve Austin's arrest warrant. For the uninformed, he was wanted for beating up his wife, which may or may not be worse than an old man attacking kids with scissors.

I visited a friend who just got a new place tonight, and it got me to thinking about what my "perfect house" would be. Something more than I can ever possibly afford, likely. I love the wide front porches you see most often in houses in the South, you know the kind, with the rocking chairs and swinging benches, with a table for the lemonade pitcher. What's also great about those Southern houses are that the hallways and ceilings are big and roomy, perfect for the hot, humid summers. And there tends to be a decent amount of space around the house itself. But who knows if I'll ever have a family big enough for a home like that, or where I could get something like that built around Chicago, or wherever I end up. I'm not totally set on it; there are lots of beautiful houses, and thousands of ways to design one that I'd be satisfied with. The thought popped into my head that I would want my house to be the kind that I want my kids to take their wedding pictures in front of. That's as high and good a standard as any.

If the desire for a house seems at ends with my passive-aggressive hatred for the suburbs, well... yah I guess it might be. It's a nice thing to daydream about, anyway.

It's not sexy. It's not 007, but the spy cow gets the job done. I'll tell you what's sexy though. Gold caps, dog, gold caps.

Amazon has some new promotion called the Gold Box, which has is filled with 5 deals that only last for an hour from the time you click it open. It'd work if they actually offered me stuff I want to buy. The table saw is not getting it done for me today.

This car has no engine, transmission, brake or gas pedals. But it still works.

Stanford scientists claim to have proven the existence of God(?).

I don't think any of us need more proof that Japanese people are crazy, but I couldn't help myself.

My brother heads down to school on the 25th. It makes me a little sad to think about it. But it's a good excuse to head down there and catch a Bears game in Champaign and visit him. His leaving only adds to the desire to GET OUT OF HERE. Some good news is that I've had a few odd jobs come my way so I can hone my writing chops a bit.

Singer Adam Ant is an Idiot
The highlights are pretty much this:

During a preliminary hearing, the court heard that the singer, whose real name is Stuart Goddard, strode into the Prince of Wales pub in north London dressed in a cowboy hat and combat jacket and with a starting gun in his pocket.

The court was told that Goddard was intent on "pistol whipping" the husband of a woman he had befriended. His composure evaporated when customers began giggling at his outfit and mocked him by humming the theme from [the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly].

Bush: 'Times are Kinda Tough'
How does that Elvis song go? "A little less conversation, a little more action." Because IBM is laying off 15,000, businesses are crossing the ethical line in search of profit, and the dollar is dropping.

Apparently, the guy who owns Davezilla.com is getting sued by the company that owns the "Godzilla intellectual" property and trademark, Toho Co. Ltd., even though Dave does not mention Gozilla anywhere on his site really, except for the "-zilla" in his URL and a little lizard-ish logo, which he does not refer to as Godzilla in any way. This sort of corporate ball-showing pisses me off, because you know they're just going after the little guy because they figure they can win. You can read Dave's thoughts on it at his blog, scroll down to "Zilla is winning, 12-0."

There's currently over 1000 sites with "-zilla" in the URLs. Will Toho's lawyers be going after Mozilla.org next? Probably not, because Mozilla is owned by Daddy AOL TimeWarner. Oh look, they have a little lizard logo. Anyway. Read The Register's take on it for a more informed opinion on the matter.

I guess I'm feeling the "stick it to The Man" vibe today. Read about Jeremy Bloom's quest for justice against the NCAA's hypocrisy.

Routergod has an "interview" with Gillian Anderson. I'd thought I was a big Scully fan, but... Funny in a "oh look, what are the geeks doing now?" kind of way. But it's not as weird as molding somebody's ashes into Frisbees. Even if the guy was the inventor of Frisbees.

Fatwa Sam's Online Souk
'Greetings effendi. My family have been trading on the internet for almost 2000 years now (although business was a bit slow until 1995), bringing quality western wives and slave boys to discerning Arab gentlemen.'

Awz yeah. The Will Ferrell Apple Switch Ad Parody. Requires Quicktime 5.0.

I don't know what I think about this:
Catholics reject evangelization of Jews
Here's a link to the full document, with a preface by the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops.

Vision Quest
A Matrix-style visor has given sight to a blind man. And it's plugged into his brain. And there are pictures.

Cage, Presley Marry in Hawaii
Eh. Ah. Ugh.

An embarassment of riches for Muppets fans awaits at the Kermitage.

Final Examination
University of Missouri
Business Organizations, Law 547
Winter Semester 1999
Professor Lawless

Homer, Barney, Apu, and Seymour sing together professionally on the weekends in an a cappella group called the Be-Sharpes. The four have agreed orally to split any revenues and expenses equally. No written agreement covers their relationship. All four have other jobs, with the weekend singing income serving as a nice supplement to their other income. Last weekend, the group was scheduled to sing at Tipsy McStagger's Good-Time Drinking and Eating Emporium. Homer never showed up. The group performed anyway and received its $1,200 fee. The group incurred approximately $200 in expenses. Upset by his absence, Barney, Apu, and Seymour did not share the $1,000 profit with Homer. Discuss whether Homer has a valid claim to $250?

Oddtodd led me to Laid Off Land. Guess I found some moral support.

You can go to Atlantic City this summer and pay a few bucks to shoot paintballs at a live human, presumably running, target. Can't beat America for fun in the sun.

'Asian Brown Cloud' poses global threat
Dr. Evil unavailable for comment. On a lighter note, NASA has pictures from a galactic explosion.

Mounted machine guns, coming to an SUV near you. Almost makes you wish for traffic.

I can't believe it took me this long to find it:
Christopher Walken Photo Gallery
Beats the heck out of the HisTory of Michael Jackson's face.

Make your own barcode.

Had a good weekend, hanging out with the "extended family" of Catholic friends. I am reminded often of how lucky I am to know them. We ended bowling, and I bowled the worst game of my life, an 87. One thing I figured out is that it's more fun to bowl two balls down the same lane at once.