Friday, November 08, 2002

The guy's wide enough for 3 heads and still have enough room for shoulders.

Saw Jackass again last night with Todd. To make up for you slackers who haven't seen it yet.

Songs stuck inside me:
Jack Johnson, "Bubble Toes"
Sixpence None the Richer, "Eyes Wide Open"
Which means that I'm in a mellow, happy mood. Good.

Supposed to be 60 this weekend in Chicago. Get out and enjoy it before the snow and the grey and the cold come.

Thursday, November 07, 2002

Ryder Convicted of Grand Theft
Winona in jail woulda been ripe with possibilities, the least being one of those "women in prisons" deals, like Ashley Judd for part of Double Jeopardy. And then you could have the Jackass guys go in there. It would've been awesome.

New University of Oregon mascot
They should call it (snort) DUCKMAN.

Global Announcement
...will be made on March 8, 2003. Weird, the one year anniversary of me getting let go at my last job.

How astronauts use the bathroom
Is there anything The Smoking Gun can't do?

Tiny Humanoid Creature Found In Chile
And its name is the Chupacabra. Or Cthluthlu. Or the Yeti.

Irritable Man Syndrome? Seriously? It would explain a lot.

Wednesday, November 06, 2002

Bid for House seat eludes Cooter from Dukes of Hazzard
Is this what happens to minor cult TV figures? Who's next? Jamie Farr? Goldberg? (How cool would that be)

I need to get some new music. Music effects me more than I think it does.

One of those things that should have been thought of before: Students go from A's to Zzzzz

Tuesday, November 05, 2002

From the Seattle P.I.:
Monday, November 4, 2002
Popular 'Jackass' making audiences sick

"Jackass the Movie," the country's top-drawing film, reportedly is causing audiences to be sick. In the R-rated movie, a man uses a toilet in the middle of a hardware store. There are other gross incidents. A few preview audience members reportedly got sick.

At the premiere screening of the film in Hollywood, bags were attached to the back of every seat. In Knoxville, Tenn., there were three confirmed reports of vomiting during a showing a week ago.

"Some of the scenes in there are kind of graphic," said theater employee Jonathan Bentley, who has cleaned up after showings. "If you are eating something during the movie, it might tend to upset your stomach."

State to Decide if 'Idiots' Can Vote
The problem is that they CAN, and DO.

Own-goal protest ends in 149-0 score
I imagine this being like foosball or air hockey when you're playing against some inept guy that keeps on hitting the ball or puck back into his own goal. 149? They musta been pretty pissed.

Truth and lies: 'One vote' fallacies

Monday, November 04, 2002

Saw Jackass over the weekend. It was everything it was supposed to be.

I have to suppress a bit of a groan as the months pass. But Sunday was my mom's birthday!

I wish I had an off switch for my brain. Here is some crap that fell out when I was lying awake one morning:
-It doesn’t really matter what people whom you’ve just met think of you.
-I think an interesting idiosyncrasy for a character in a story, say, would be the habit making cryptic, pseudo-ponderous statements that don’t make any sense. (Probably because it’s something I’m afraid that I do.) Like the guy is trying so hard to say something meaningful, but it doesn’t happen, either because he can’t pack everything he’s trying to say in the few words he uses or because he really is trying to stretch the weight of the moment too far and fit it into a shape that it can’t hold.
-I have a bizarre fear of being stabbed. I hate watching it in movies even.
-Some day, my temper could get me into a lot of trouble. Which is related to the stabbing thing, as in I’m going to get stabbed because of my smartassness.
-I know a lot of people who are smart, rich, talented, beautiful, and sometimes, just sometimes, I wish I was like them. But I try not to dwell on it, because who wants to go through life unhappy about themselves all the time.
-Sportswriters are self-important, useless pompous asses. I’m sure it can be a lot of fun, but I just can’t justify being a sportswriter as a career, even though I might be good at it. Fun things to talk about during the lunch break, at best. But who cares about athletes when there are still starving people in the streets? Sports is overstated in how important it is, just like a lot of things that make a lot of money.
-My good close friends are a bunch of idiots, but in the best way possible. Like if you or someone you know is in a big family with a bunch of brothers, the kind that are always doing something stupid but it’s funny, and they’re such idiots, but you love ‘em because they’re your brothers, then you know what I’m talking about. Which is funny in itself, because those very same friends are some of the smartest, sharpest minds I know.
-I believe in the myth of youth, in that I feel more and more useless as the days pass. I meet these really smart kids my brother’s age or younger, and I wonder what the heck was I doing when I was their age. And I’m only 26?!