Friday, August 30, 2002 - Treasure of ‘70’s Film Footage Recovered: Includes Elvis Sponsored Karate Film
Stuff like this is what makes blogging so worth it, even when I just want to go to bed.

I had a fantasy football draft tonight with some of my old coworkers. The highlight of the draft was definitely Danny Wuerffel being taken in the 4th round. Everybody thinks they's a genius.

Ever need an answer for anything? The Straight Dope is good for it, like for instance why the snooze button gives you 9 minutes instead of 10.

I'm sure most of you have noticed how all the movies nowadays are all sequels or spinoffs or re-tellings of old movies. The epidemic is not limited to Hollywood, as nerds have copied other nerds in designing a high-tech body-armor suit for the US Army.

Teen can't find Football Helmet that Fits
A familiar handicap for some of us. 26 inches in circumference? That's a fricking truck tire.

P. Diddy is sending out invites to the greatest party of all time. Wonder if these 2 will show up.

Waste time with the City Creator.

Thursday, August 29, 2002

I Won the Spam Carving Contest!
Why does the dude have to wear a Spam shirt though? Overkill.

Does it irritate anybody else when they see baserunners sliding into first base? It's faster to simply run through. You don't see world class sprinters diving across the finish line. Anyway, who cares. Baseball can go screw, football season is coming.

Oops. Target orders racist apparel out of stores. Kinda scary that something as simple as "88" is a white supremacist symbol. Those sneaky SOBs.

An admirable and noble impulse, but way too rose-colored in perspective. I get a sneaking suspicion that these people are the type who define "tolerance" as "everything as being acceptable and good."

Wednesday, August 28, 2002

What the heck kind of world do we live in when we cut off our pets' genitals to have them live with us, then think it's a good idea to buy them fake ones. How do the new ones help, aside from perhaps proper balance when walking and standing.

Got a new job lead. Fingers crossed.

Why does it feel good to feel bad?

I am hijacking some questions off someone else's blog:
1. what's the bravest thing you've ever done?
2. what's the meanest thing you've ever done?
3. what do you think is overrated?
4. what are your top three pet peeves?
5. favorite holiday?

Perhaps I should answer them, too.
1. I can't think of anything I've ever done that I would consider brave. I will admit that I've had daydreams about glorious ways to face death, like taking a bullet for someone, but who hasn't seen all of that in some movie?
2. Made my mom cry, because I was impatient with her slow comprehension of what I was saying. What kind of bastard makes his mom cry, let alone doing it multiple times?
3. the myth of America (manifest destiny and that garbage), graphic sexual depictions as "art," major league baseball, most hip-hop and rap acts, "keepin' it real."
4. a) People who turn around in their seats at large settings like church, concerts, shows, etc. What the hell are you looking for? Action's up front, chief. B) Flaky behavior that ruins it for those of us who need structure. C) people who have no sense of their place, so they are constantly aggravating everybody else.
5. Memorial Day, because it doesn't have the baggage of Christmas and New Year's, and it invokes memories of barbecues and summer.

Tuesday, August 27, 2002

Media Images of 'Hunks' Spur Body Anxieties in Men
Except me.

Feeling hopeful about humanity? A little stupidity to get the anger mojo going. Or maybe a Chief Executive who has too much Texan in him. Or try to comprehend this website.

But click on Black Man with a Gun if you're having a bad day.

This is the most amazing picture I've ever seen.

Americans are now being shown around 1500 commercial messages a day. I'm craving a Slurpee.

This is specifically for one person who reads this blog:
Three Rivers Ferret Show 2002

I'm feeling better about my brother being away at college, because he tells me he's having fun so far. Even though the bathrooms are durty, his phone doesn't work, and no food service until Wednesday.

Monday, August 26, 2002

Blackwolf the Dragonmaster's Dark Chambers
Yah, the same Blackwolf the Dragonmaster from Triumph the Insult Comic-Dog's field report from the Attack of the Clones premier. On the short list of New Yorkers James Ho should stalk next.

Dropped off my kid brother at college. Weird, very weird. Not that he's at school, but that the gap he left behind is bigger than I expected. Urbana-Champaign is a total dump; why don't we design one way streets to run directly at each other, and not have 4 way stops at intersections. Idiots. Like the town was designed by someone stricken with amnesia, dyslexia and colorblindness all at the same time.

This brainteaser is driving me insane. Apparently some techno-weenie from Microsoft started it, and no one has been able to crack it.

This is an announcement for the public good:
I know this might not affect all of you, and thankfully, it's good that it's only a few. But it may affect people you know, and thus I bring it to your attention. What I'm talking about is the habit of some to keep stuffed animals, plush toys, or Beanie Babies in their cars. I can superficially grasp why womenfolk do this; it's a cute eccentric affectation, or its their favorite doll from childhood, they stuff the things full of narcotics, etc. But why would grown (over 18) men keep these things in their cars? A snippet of actual, real conversation regarding this:

Friend: Do the stuffed animals in my car make me seem like a more sensitive guy?
Me: No, it makes you look like a gigantic boy fairy.
Friend: You're one angry man.
Me: I take it back. Fairy-BOY.

How would stuffed animals make you seem like a more sensitive anything? Do politicians seem more sensitive in the photo ops with terminal patients in children's hospitals? Was my friend planning to carry the dolls around with him all the time, shuffling them out when asked for proof of his emotional balance? Wouldn't it work better if the animals were real? Why would you want to just "seem" more sensitive, instead of actually endeavoring to be more sensitive.

Yah. It was a long drive back from Champaign.

I should finish my McDonald's and Starbucks apps before too long. Before my life gets too busy and exciting.