I am in pain. I am not expecting sympathy. I worked out for the first time in awhile, and I hope the floor doesn't hurt too much when I hit it after rolling out of bed tomorrow. If I get out of bed tomorrow.

It sucks that Cal Ripken's streak was Mastercard's best baseball moment. I have a friend who thinks it sucks, and he's an Orioles fan. I can think of at least 7 better baseball moments than that:

1) Robin Ventura getting several dozen noogies to the head when he charged the mound on Nolan Ryan. They asked him after the game what he was doing out there, and all he said was "I have no idea." Gotta respect the honesty.

2) Jose Canseco playing right field, reaching up to catch a ball right at the fence, only to have it bounce off his head and into the stands for a home run. It never gets old.

3) Jon Kruk peeing his pants in panic when a wayward Randy Johnson fastball went over his head during an All-Star game. He turns to the catcher, and you can see him mouthing "what the (*^&^&$% was that?" There should be more jolly fat guys in pro sports like Jon Kruk. More jolly fat guys in general.

4) During a bench-clearing brawl between the Angels and the Dodgers, Chan Ho Park karate kicking Tim Belcher. Belcher catches Chan Ho in midair, then flips him to the ground in a body slam, putting him down for the count faster than any Tom & Jerry cartoon. One of the most embarassing moments in Korean-American history.

5) Cubs radio analyst Ron Santo bellowing "OH NOOOOOOOO" when Brant Brown dropped a ball in leftfield against the Brewers. Pat Hughes is doing the call, and Santo is squealing like a large, stuck pig in the background:
"Brown dropped the ball!"
"OOOOHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"
God bless ya, Ron Santo. It warms the cockles of a Sox fan's heart.

6) Some minor-league centerfielder running full-speed back toward the fence, only this is the minor leagues, so there's no padding. Dude goes right through the wooden fence as the ball goes over it.

7) Mike Ditka singing "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" at Wrigley Field. No tune, no rhythm, all good.

Song stuck in my head: Jack Johnson "Inaudible Melodies"
I wish I was a troubador.

Have a good weekend, kids. Go to Nevin's on Saturday night if you got nothing going.

Googlism
I still don't get what this thing does.

Rented Windtalkers tonight, though I meant to get We Were Soldiers. Idiot Blockbuster...movies out of order...stinkinfriggin... Anyway, Windtalkers is not worth renting, never meriting more than a lukewarm reaction at any point. I'm not a fan of blood and guts, but the battle scenes are comically unbelievable. I guess John Woo wasn't really interested in any sort of realistic element. Saving Private Ryan upped the ante on every war flick, but Windtalkers doesn't even rise to the challenge. John Woo has definitely lost his fastball.

Emode.com
I'm sure lots of you already know about the popular personality test site, but I'll post it because it came up in conversation when we were out. My celebrity match is Cameron Diaz. Woo!

Shameless plug:
In Chicagoland this weekend? Got nothing to do on Saturday night? Check out The Leah Galyean Band at Tommy Nevin's in Evanston. The LGB should be on at around 11, David tells me.

This is a belabored point, but the fact that Barry Bonds has about an 80% chance of hitting a homer every time he gets a hittable pitch is mind-altering. Most good hitters, when they get into a hitter's count, and get the fastball they were waiting for, AND in zone they were looking in, usually rip it for a double into the gap. Hitting a home run is about a 40/60 chance, even in that situation, where everything favors the hitter. Bonds can do it with any pitch that catches too much plate. Unbelievable. And how 'bout those Giants? They're helped by the fact that Mike Scioscia's an idiot for leaving Francisco Rodriguez in after pitching 3 innings in relief the day before. Wrong move, especially when you have 3 other arms not used the day before.

Scholar Touts Oldest Link to Jesus
The Rev. Joseph Fitzmyer, a Bible professor at Catholic University who studied photos of the box, agrees with Lemaire that the writing style "fits perfectly" with other first century examples. The joint appearance of these three famous names is "striking," he said.
"But the big problem is, you have to show me the Jesus in this text is Jesus of Nazareth, and nobody can show that," Fitzmyer said.

Why is Northwestern so secret squirrel about their grad school stuff? Maybe it's just the School of Education people? Sheesh. What disadvantage is there to putting important admissions info, like deadlines or minimum requirements, on the website. Is this what my undergrad tuition paid for?! C'mon! I'm even willing to give you even more money if I get into grad school there.

What IS this?

Kurt Cobain's journals
Everyone wants to believe that they see what was to come when they flip through stuff like this, like Hitler's paintings, or Hemingway's notes. Just the instinctual draw of the macabre. Just in time for the boxset this Christmas. Or if you're really into the collected works of a genius, check out everything R. Buckminster Fuller knew.

Sorry no blog today. Consider it an "artistic" entry.

Yick. Imagine if I had two heads. Block out the frickin' sun. Maybe Grand Master Dong can help. NOTE: No relation to Grandmaster Flash

My church was hosting a conference for the weekend, and I actually got a lot more out of it than I had expected, especially when the titles of the lectures being given are rather unwieldly ones like "Catholic Ecclesiology" and "Dogma of the Immaculate Conception."

Song that won't leave me alone: "Breathe," Telepopmusik
The one from the new Mitsubishi commercial

Haha. I can't believe I found this, in light of the conversations I've had lately: AllLookSame.com. Or you can read how much black people love us.

One of my friends says she sometimes wishes she was a guy, mostly cuz guys have more fun. For instance, she points that almost every guy can make those explosion and gun noises, honed from hours of playing Army and with toy cars. We also know the names of warplanes and tanks. Which is why guys might better appreciate why this is so fricking cool.

What IS this?

Apparently some guys want to send AOL a million of their own CD-ROMs. You can reach em at NoMoreAOLCDs.com.